Mary-Jo Fetterly

I’ve been getting lots of requests for a link to my interview with Shelagh Rogers on Sounds Like Canada on CBC Radio. Here’s a recording of it from the CBC website. You’ll need Real Player to listen to it.

Time is apparently moving forward as we approach the darkness before we bring in yet another New Year. One could consider we’re taking a journey together here on this planet earth, and well, how are we doing? With another season upon us and an auspicious one at that – winter with all of its cultural and seasonally timed rituals - the true meaning of this season is often overshadowed by the distractions of the small mind manifesting more and more material gods to worship or want. The small mind - it certainly can get in the way – that’s its nature though, so you’ve got to expect that.

Have you ever noticed yours? Being still - you have to be still to notice, and then you begin to notice more and more. It’s quite entertaining to observe “the small mind”. I catch mine when I’m experiencing tension, worry, self-consciousness, judgment, doubt, dullness, carelessness, laziness and dissipation due to excessive craving..........those nine distractions, Patanjali (Yoga Sutras) knew all about them. Perhaps not much has changed then in a couple thousand years, or has it?

The season of Fall is a time when everything seems to change. The solar light, lower on the horizon, softly imbues the kaleidoscope of colored leaves as they dance their last dance before turning to compost. The day-to-day human activity mirrors the newly opening sky of bigger expanse, with new projects, dreams and ideas brewing. The fall winds blowing leaves to and fro show us what space is: movement, change and freedom.

How many of you have used the phrase “give me some space” when feeling overwhelmed or ungrounded. What is it we are describing when using the word “space”? It’s a word we use often and in many different applications. I think back to something I often used to say to my students in the heat of a practice; “find the space in the pose – space creates freedom, freedom is Truth, Truth is Divinity”. Words originally inspired by a great Indian teacher, B.S.K. Iyengar.

HATHA YOGA

This is a term, which actually means the practice of the physical postures, also called asanas - which could essentially mean all styles of physical yoga. Generally though, a class called “hatha” will be an eclectic blend of a few different styles often with a more gentle approach.

IYENGAR YOGA

If you are looking for detail, therapeutic yoga or a very thoughtful and precise class this is the style for you. B.K.S. Iyengar the founder of this style has been prolific and unwavering in his contribution to the world of yoga, and stands as one of the world’s most influential yogis.

All teachers of this style go through a rigorous certification process and are often very dedicated and devoted to this style. A class typically utilizes props in the form of blocks, straps, bolsters and blankets to assist students toward exploring the poses more fully with regard to their limitations or injuries. Classes are slow moving and poses are often held for much longer than in other styles of yoga.

Hello.  I have mused over this newsletter for sometime, feeling like I only wanted to write when I had come up with something worthwhile to say.  I may be setting myself up in that last statement, however I now feel sincerely compelled to share my musings with you.  Bear with me then, your printed version of this newsletter in hand, relaxing on your deck, fragrant smells, iced drink close by and the beautiful spacious quality of a mid-summers night.

The past few months have been significant for me personally in ways that may have relevance for us all. By giving you a glimpse, I imagine that some of those signifyers may become part of our shared learning/experience.

One of the questions I am most commonly asked by both students and friends is; how has this situation (quadraplegia) changed you and how do you deal with it?  People are fascinated and fearful of this predicament and at the same time hopeful that somehow I/they - can/could transform it.  Bless our tender and innocent Souls.

Hello family, friends and acquaintances of Trinity Yoga. This is either an early or a very late newsletter if it were following the usual protocol and arriving sometime at the beginning of the month.

It just so happens that the fullness of spring had all of us at Trinity doing overtime and then some, and rather than wait I felt the need to get this late newsletter out to you all. I hope you enjoy the musing and news as you watch your gardens grow.

Some of us were back in Toronto in early May, at the Toronto Yoga Show. It was an industrious and prolific time, planting seeds of possibility, growth and inspiration to new friends. The show felt different this year, for various reasons. This time, Trinity as an entity felt much more stable and grounded and clear of purpose.

I had the pleasure and the honor of sharing this recent New Year’s Eve with my mother Ruth, my best friend Frank and our new little dog, Moby. This particular day is an interesting passage for humanity, marking the end and the beginning of a year in time, uniting us all as a collective consciousness. I felt that collective energy build right up to the hour, from observing the line-ups at the liquor stores to the unconditioned response of Moby as he picked up on the cheering and fireworks outside of my city apartment – barking and running to and fro.

Curiously, I think many believe that what we think say and do to one another is not intricately woven into the fabric of the collective; equally amiss and diminishing is the notion that what we think say and do in our own small heads to ourselves, does not affect the whole and the whole of our being. I shudder to think of what that may implicate on New Year’s day as millions wake up in a half-conscious stupor. I’d rather, however, optimistically reach to the possible potential that our unified consciousness may hold for us as a globe – to evolve beyond personal and mass destruction and violence to healing, health and unity.

With my three special guests present to share in the welcoming of a new year, I was gifted with their three very unique personalities to enrich my personal experience. My mother, whom was at the end of a cross country trek visiting all of her daughters, exemplified courage, devotion and unconditional love. Against all odds of a recent heart condition and the loss of her life partner, this 81 year old woman put her fear and self-pity aside and brought love, grace and presence into each home visited and those therein.

We are now most of us, fully surrounded by the winter season of darker days and cooler temperatures. Perhaps in your own lives you notice the angst and resistance at meeting this symbolic and actual darkness for all of the aspects it brings up personally and collectively.

I know for myself the Christmas season always brings up mixed feelings. I find myself grappling with the gentle quiet example of nature to move inward to stillness, with the cultures urgent ploys in the other direction.

Hello friends, family and community. I would like to take this opportunity to bring you all up-to-date on where I’ve been, what I’ve been doing and to apologize for not communicating for so long. The last time I wrote a weblog was back in January just before the anniversary date of my injury. After that date I had a lot of trepidation around the event and wasn’t sure how to write about it, nor in some ways what to do with the feelings. Granted, I’ve had a lot of time since then, to inform and maintain lines of communication, however life is full for me and my focus and available time has changed.

I remember at some point awhile back expressing to all of you that I believe there are no accidents and that for some divine reason and purpose I’ve been put into this situation. As difficult as it is, I still hold that perception, and am finding more and more enacting examples of this truth as I go. I have found myself to be very busy with a number of personal projects, as well as some which relate to persons with spinal cord injury. I have become involved in many significant movements relating to this realm, at this time. 

Lying in my bed last week in the wee hours of the morning, I was inspired and moved as I am often, by the gifts of overflowing love and kindness that has come my/our way through the incident of a seeming tragedy. The rare quiet that surrounded the apartment paled against my minds activity as my consciousness danced with streams of thoughts and feelings in relation to what has happened to me, how it has changed me and subsequently those connected to me. How I feel due to all of this and what if any, conclusions I might draw.
In these timeless moments I will curiously observe as my intellect and intuition begin to merge, and a tapestry of insight and understanding takes form. For all of us, I think there is a desire to make sense of our lives, to comprehend the struggles, to make peace with our demons and to find a place, which has meaning, resolve and validation. I’m sure many of you can relate to similar moments I describe above: walks in nature, yoga practice, meditation or savasna, helping another etc. as special opportunities, where prayer, quiet and receptivity allow for the wisdom and insights of the Divine to flow in. What came to me in this particular instance was the profundity of receptivity and how receptivity relates so intimately with love, acceptance and the ability to be in the moment.

CHRISTMAS, 2004

For the Fetterly family this year has been dominated by Mary-Jo’s skiing accident last January. Her broken neck has left her paralysed from the chest down. Eight months of intensive rehabilitation at Vancouver’s G.F. Strong Rehab Hospital and with total commitment and dedication on her part, she has regained mobility in her shoulders, arms and wrists. She is now living in an apartment in Vancouver with her two daughters, Amanda and Katelyn and getting on with her new life. She has even resumed teaching her beloved Yoga classes from her wheelchair. Her indomitable spirit of courage and acceptance has touched all who come in contact with her. Her website www mary-jo.com is an information pipeline for updated news, with eloquent web logs posted by daughter Amanda and by Mary-Jo.

To give you some very honest glimpses…

It has been seasons since I have written. What was once a therapy and release is now in the distance of my past. I find myself embraced by the dense Vancouver moisture, with no hope of a snowflake, and sun many months ahead. Sitting here looking back on my previous statement about weather I realize my propensity as of late to divulge in things of less meaning. Do you really care how the Vancouver weather is? I am sure if it was a prevalent issue in your life you could pick up a copy of the Province. It is a way for me to touch base with you on a candid basis. The way we touch base with each other 97% of our lives. We all know what the weather is like. Fabulous somedays’, depressing on others, its never predictable. The Weather in certain aspects could be compared to the nature of the mind. Lets break down the barriers of sun and rain. Lets look at what’s beneath the surface of our worlds.

To give you some very honest glimpses…

In August things changed at GF strong. I was getting worn out; tired of the bells and nurses but maybe even more tired of having to face a reality that was so emotionally trying everyday. I was MJ’s right hand gal. The caretaker in me loved it. And the martyr loved it even more. I would complain, but refuse help.

To give you some very honest glimpses…

It has been seasons since I have written. What was once a therapy and release is now in the distance of my past. I find myself embraced by the dense Vancouver moisture, with no hope of a snowflake, and sun many months ahead. Sitting here looking back on my previous statement about weather I realize my propensity as of late to divulge in things of less meaning. Do you really care how the Vancouver weather is? I am sure if it was a prevalent issue in your life you could pick up a copy of the Province. It is a way for me to touch base with you on a candid basis. The way we touch base with each other 97% of our lives. We all know what the weather is like. Fabulous somedays’, depressing on others, its never predictable. The Weather in certain aspects could be compared to the nature of the mind. Lets break down the barriers of sun and rain. Lets look at what’s beneath the surface of our worlds.

To give you some very honest glimpses…

In August things changed at GF strong. I was getting worn out; tired of the bells and nurses but maybe even more tired of having to face a reality that was so emotionally trying everyday. I was MJ’s right hand gal. The caretaker in me loved it. And the martyr loved it even more. I would complain, but refuse help. 

Since my last weblog of October 11 one very major event besides the American election has taken place. This event more than likely would not have had the same impact if I had not suffered a spinal cord injury this past year, similar to Christopher Reeves. In fact, one vertebral level of difference between us is huge in its implications and impact, and that is perhaps why I feel so compelled to acknowledge and describe the effect his passing has had on me.

Learning to live with and despite of a spinal cord injury is perhaps one of the most challenging journeys a human may take. Every aspect of it is an adjustment to an altered state, which, depending on the level of the lesion may be from moderately paralyzed to totally dependent. Think of an infant with constant nerve pain, threats of pressure sores and no feeling, except of the mental capacity which then also has to deal with, cognizance of all the rest. After experiencing this myself first hand for the past 10 months I was deeply touched and disturbed by Christopher’s death. I was also however, all the more encouraged and inspired as I put together the picture of his life and his incredible courage over the past nine years to do what he has done – despite (and I mean this) all odds. What an utterly amazing and powerful feat, one we could all look to with awe and respect. For a man who had to give up every ounce of independence and mobility to rise above his own pain, sorrow, and daunting physical challenges to lead the world in Spinal Cord Research we all ought to bow in gratitude and bewilderment. His service and vision are beacons in a time filled with self loathing and despair, where our only acts of courage are derived from the need to rise above our pettiness.

Since my last weblog of October 11 one very major event besides the American election has taken place. This event more than likely would not have had the same impact if I had not suffered a spinal cord injury this past year, similar to Christopher Reeves. In fact, one vertebral level of difference between us is huge in its implications and impact, and that is perhaps why I feel so compelled to acknowledge and describe the effect his passing has had on me.

Today I am writing to you from my new home in Vancouver. It has been a long time coming, reentering back into the world and leaving the secure and sometimes obscure world of the spinal unit at GF Strong. It feels awesome to be with the girls and to have a space for all of us to come home to.

It also feels incredibly endearing to consider how many people have facilitated and supported all of us throughout our journey and into the next phase of our lives. Your generosity and continual love and care are acknowledged and appreciated everyday in my prayers.

Our new home is conveniently located in the heart of Kitisalano, a Vancouver locale rich with culture, shops, and all of the amenities. Again, we feel sweetly blessed to have been given the opportunity to land here, of all places. After a very long and laborious process of looking throughout the lower mainland for accessible and desirable housing (of which there is not much around in Vancouver, let alone Nelson) we have landed in a truly amazing spot. Our place is bright, spacious, totally accessible and has a lovely courtyard garden which I and able to roll out into and enjoy from my door. Kate’s school is a block and a half away and she is settling in nicely, as well as working part-time at a local salon. Amanda has been away for awhile and will return to begin working at a new restaurant in town called The Lift. I’m just now beginning to settle into my new routine, and have time to actually write a Web log.

Today I am writing to you from my new home in Vancouver. It has been a long time coming, reentering back into the world and leaving the secure and sometimes obscure world of the spinal unit at GF Strong. It feels awesome to be with the girls and to have a space for all of us to come home to.

It also feels incredibly endearing to consider how many people have facilitated and supported all of us throughout our journey and into the next phase of our lives. Your generosity and continual love and care are acknowledged and appreciated everyday in my prayers.

Our new home is conveniently located in the heart of Kitisalano, a Vancouver locale rich with culture, shops, and all of the amenities. Again, we feel sweetly blessed to have been given the opportunity to land here, of all places. After a very long and laborious process of looking throughout the lower mainland for accessible and desirable housing (of which there is not much around in Vancouver, let alone Nelson) we have landed in a truly amazing spot. Our place is bright, spacious, totally accessible and has a lovely courtyard garden which I and able to roll out into and enjoy from my door. Kate’s school is a block and a half away and she is settling in nicely, as well as working part-time at a local salon. Amanda has been away for awhile and will return to begin working at a new restaurant in town called The Lift. I’m just now beginning to settle into my new routine, and have time to actually write a Web log.

Sitting here on a seemingly quiet Sunday morning. I ponder silence and communication. In the past several months my experience of these two states has stretched my concepts and understanding of them, and I continue to be amazed and curious at the complexities thereof. What is communication? Is it the act of speaking, being herd, seeking of attention, etc. and what makes it effective? What is silence? Is it quiet amidst noise, listening, being still, etc.and how does silences occur? Can communication happen in silence and can silence exist without any form of communication, including that of ones internal dialogue to oneself? When you communicate are you being herd, are you saying what you really mean, and does your communication work? When you are listening are you silent or is the stream of inner communication interfering with the communication that is taking place in front of you?